Neurotic
by Coffee-Addict-Ngh
Summary: Creek! Take a look into the mind of Tweek Tweak. "He likes you. I know human behavior and if he does as you've said I think he likes you. Why else would he pay for your coffee, kiss you, and steal your underpants?" she mused to him. "Because he's a gnome!"


SP Tweek

Neurotic

"I don't get it!" the blonde ranted. "If he isn't after me as a serial killer what does he want from me!?" the pulled hard on his blonde locks. The fifteen year old Tweek Tweak was on the phone with his therapist. She was used to these three am phone calls from the teen. She didn't even answer as he panicked. His parents didn't listen to it anymore either, drowning it out with sound proof walls. Tweek's room was sound proofed. "I mean, I get now that he doesn't want to beat me up for spilling coffee on him, or insisting things be a certain way in my room when he sleeps over or…" he rants about some of his OCD tendencies. She just sat and listened. He babbled for two hours about his theories with Craig and once even said he could be and underpants gnome. "I mean it fits!" he shouted and jittered. "He even stole my underwear." She couldn't help but laugh at hearing this.

"Tweek dear, he isn't a gnome I can assure you. I think he had a crush on you." Her tone was amused. Tweek actually stopped shaking for a minute.

"He what?" the blonde was quiet now, a sharp contrast to before. The therapist had to strain to hear what he'd said.

"He likes you. I know human behavior and if he does as you've said I think he likes you. Why else would he pay for your coffee, kiss you, and steal your underpants?" she mused to him.

"Because he's a gnome!" Tweek insisted on his theory. "But…no. never mind. I'll let you get some sleep now." He hung up and flew over to his bed. Back in her office she shook her head and sighed.

"That boy I swear." She smiled this time with her sigh. "He's so neurotic."

He faked sleep for a few hours and his phone rang. His ringtone was loud in the silent room. "Agh!" he screamed before realizing it was just his ringtone yelling. He sighed and slouched before answering it. "H-hello?"

"Hey Tweek, Clyde is being a little bitch-" a loud 'hey!' was heard in the background "And he wants us to come support him at a taco eating contest. You in?" It was Craig.

"Gah! But what about the crowd?" the blonde bit on his nails and waited for the response.

"We've been over this before, I won't let anyone trample you, kidnap you, or steal your underwear."

"Promise and I'll go."

"I promise." He could practically hear the eye roll in his tone. "I'm outside so get the damn door." He hung up and Tweek flipped out. He ran downstairs and opened the door for him. The blonde was ready to go seeing as how he slept in his clothes. Craig pat him on the back and led him away to the taco competition.

Tweek was chugging a fresh coffee from Craig, still keeping an eye out. He was so convinced that he was a gnome. Or at least working with them. Their whole group was sitting and talking. Clyde had, of course, won. He was boasting and chatting animatedly. Someone's phone went off in the group making them all jump a little. Especially since the ringtone was singing about a stupid MF (stupid MF, MSI.) Tweek turned bright red and pulled out his phone. The others gave him an odd look while Craig snorted a laugh. "Um. Hi?" he answered.

"You didn't call at noon like usual so I was wondering how you were." It was his therapist. He looked at the time and it was two already. "Are you with your friends? Oh I wanna talk to them! Pu me on speaker!" she gushed.

"I am not putting you on speaker!" He made a face, though she couldn't see. The others laughed, assuming who it was. He talked about her a lot. Mostly complaining about how much she wanted to meet his friends. Especially Craig, who she was convinced was in love with him. "Ack- hey!" the phone was taken by a taller blue chullo boy.

"Well hi there. Miss Annie was it?" he grinned and held the phone above their heads and put her on speaker.

"Oh my gosh! I told you that I'd get to talk with them Tweek." She was very happy. "Who's all there anyways?"

"Craig-me, Clyde, and Token." Craig answered. He was going to have fun with this. Tweek was spazzing out trying to reach the phone.

"Urk! Craig! Give it back!" he jumped for the phone. No luck.

"Nope." He was giving that shit eating grin again. "So Miss Annie, does he still call at three in the morning freaking out over underpants gnomes?"

"Not exactly." She amended "Mostly about you." There was a knowing tone to that.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. And stop stealing his underwear. He thinks you're with the gnomes." She laughed really hard. Craig's grin fell slightly. "He is so confused that poor boy."

"I'm right here you know!" Tweek managed to get the phone back. "Not cool!"

"Ha sorry dear but I can't resist a good tease." She sat back in her office chair. "How are your friends?"

"I won a taco eating competition" Clyde yelled into the speaker. It was obvious he was still hyper over it.

"That's great Clyde just don't throw up-" too late. As soon as she said it he turned over the edge and let it all out. "Oh. Never mind then." She gave a nervous laugh.

"How do you know his name?" Token questioned.

"Well he said he ate tacos." She said, as if that explained everything. At the silence she added, "I'm who he rants to I know all about you guys. Not everything, but based on what's he's said –and what I could make out when he's getting into it- Clyde would marry tacos if it was legal."

"He really would." Craig looked at his friend. "What else has he told you?" he sounded suspicious.

"Oh not much. I do pick up pieces here and there between gnomes and conspiracy theories though. It is my job after all. Oh stop flipping off the phone you'll upset him!" she chastised. Craig stopped flipping off the phone. Token stared at the small green square in awe. "I know you all pretty well from picking up pieces. I know certain things as well Craig Tucker so you better not corrupt my patient. If you do I will personal come over there from Denver and kick you where the sun don't shine." Her voice was pleasant as she easily gave the threat. Tweek looked confused and Craig stayed silent, his lips pursed. "Oh and get him a lip ring I've always wanted to see him get that lip ring." She hung up. The three looked at the blonde in bewilderment.

"Man, your therapist is almost as fucked up as you are!" Clyde commented. "What was that about a lip ring?"

"Uh…" he looked away guiltily. "Weeeell…" he didn't finish what his 'well' was. Craig took him by the hand and dragged him off. "Ack! Hey! M-my coffee!" he yelled as it fell the ground. He didn't stop. The other two stayed there staring at the empty spot.

Craig pulled him all the way into the mall and into a shop. It was a tattoo and piercings shop.

"W-w-wait Craig! What the hell?" he protested. The guy at the front greeted Craig with a hug.

"Hey man, you getting another down there? Oh! Who's this cute boy?" he grinned and inspected Tweek. "Nothing on him yet, are you here to break his piercing and tat virginity?" he laughed at the horrible joke. "He look like he could use a little ink. Maybe on his hip here. Oh and a belly, he had a perfect stomach for it!" he pulled up Tweek's shirt. "Maybe a pin at the top of his v? Oh but a ring would fit him so much better! Come here let me work my magic." Craig followed close behind him to make sure he didn't freak out too much.

"Ah! C-Craig! This is way too much pressure! My parent's will find out and then they'll ship me away like Butters!" he freaked out. The raven placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"Relax Tweekers it's on me." He smiled softly using the nickname. Tweek immediately calmed down. "Hm. A little coffee cup on his left hip how about? Black and white and tan. He pointed out a design to the owner. "And I like your idea with the bar at the top of his v also a ring, a lip ring. Silver or black." He pointed to a few things over on the rack. "It's alright man I'll be right here. It won't hurt much, it'll go numb eventually." Craig helped Tweek out of the green shirt. He laid down on the black leather chair. He shifted his eyes nervously and gripped the other's hand hard.

"Alright sounds fun!" the owner got what he needed. "I'll do the tat first since it takes longest. Then the bar and then the ring." He ordered and did just so. He made a perfect cup of coffee on his hip and then the piercings. Tweek admired them turning to see it fully.

"Wow." His eyes were wide in delight. He was speechless. Craig gave the owner a bro fist and paid for them.

"Those make me sooo happy man." He grinned at the tat. After going over several times how to take care of the thing they left. Tweek was excited to show it off. He hugged Craig really hard and babbled about it all the way back to Token and Clyde. "Hey." He called the two's attention "C'mere." He commanded. Of course they came over right away. Craig sounded very serious. "Now if Tweek's parent's should ask you know nothing." He brought the blonde over to show. He was grinning like an idiot as his friends looked over the new markings.

"Woah!"

"Holy shit dude!"

"Sweeeet." That last one was not anyone in their group. It was Kenny, with his hood down. He had snuck up a moment ago. "You get that at Tyler's in the mall?"

"Yes." Craig answered for him.

"That man is a god of body art I swear." Kenny gave him a high-five. Tweek hesitated before slapping the hand back. "Don't worry I won't tell. But the lip ring might be obvious." He smirked and waved before leaving. Token stared after in confusion. Clyde whined about how he wanted to get one. Craig walked Tweek home after they hung out more and even went so far as to kiss his cheek before departing. Tweek freaked out and ran up to his room. It was time for a phone call.

He texted her the pics of his new bodily designs and she called him right back. She was extremely happy.

"This is so cool; you've always wanted to do this! Craig paid for it all? Wasn't that expensive?" sometimes she acted more of a fan-girl friend than a therapist. "He's so sweet isn't he? Tell me more, what did you two do afterwards?"

"Well uh, we showed it to Clyde Token and Kenny. And then we got some coffee talked for a few hours and he walked me home but-" he stopped short, talking really fast "But he kissed me! N-not a kiss-kiss but one on the cheek and he turned and ran off after! I'm so confused man. I don't like thinking you're right, you're a therapist!" the blonde rambled on and on about Craig. "I think he might even be a witch, every time he makes contact with my skin I turn hot and my stomach feels funny. Oh Jesus do you think he's given me something!?" Tweek freaked out almost having a mild panic attack.

"Tweek, calm down dear." And the therapist tone was back, "He isn't casting any spells on you," you could hear the smile in her voice. "If what I hear is correct than it is my assumption you like him too."

"What!? No way man! My parents would disown me! Especially with Craig they hate him they said he was a punk! Oh crap they haven't seen my ring yet." He actually started having a real panic attack now. "Shit I gotta go! I have to call Craig." He hung up in the middle of her protest. He didn't have to call Craig, in that same moment the ebony boy hopped in through his open window. "AHH!" Tweek fell over backwards in surprise. "How did you do that?" the blonde demanded.

"The tree runs pretty much into your room. You'll have to trim that branch if you don't want it sticking into your window." He snorted and helped his friend up. "Are your parents even home today?"

"No…" he looked around nervously and hid under the blankets on his bed. His voice was muffled by the sheets, "What do you want?

"Weren't you just going to call me? What do _you_ want Tweekers?" Craig sat on the edge of the bed. The blonde pulled on his hair.

"Ack. W-well um_… IwasfreakingoutovermyparentscomingbackandseeingIgottheseandthenthey'll makemestophangingoutwithyou_-and (1)" he took a breath in his fast talking. "_**Andthentheywon' 'lllockmeinmyroomforeverlikeButtersandcallyouapunkand- and**_-…" (2) He stopped to catch his breath. Craig put a hand on his shoulder.

"Relax, I won't let that happen. Whatever it was you just said, take a deep breath and try saying it again so I can understand you better?" he had actually understood the blonde, but he thought saying it over might help him. He rubbed his back soothingly. Tweek tried to resay his last sentence but failed miserably. So instead he just came out of the covers and hugged his taller friend. "It's alright now Tweekie, I won't let them ground you forever I swear." He promised and ruffled the soft crazy locks. "Let's get you some coffee, ok?" The blonde looked up and grinned.

"Ok."

(1)- freaking out over my parents coming back and seeing I got these and then they'll make me stop hanging out with you and"

(2) - And then they won't let me date you even though Miss Annie said that you probably would. And they'll lock me in my room forever like Butters and call you a punk and- and-."

"So what do you technically have anyways?" Craig wondered, as the couple sat on the couch. They ate popcorn and drank soda and coffee. There was a stark difference in the air, one much more comfortable.

"Uh, supposedly I'm neurotic." He blinked up at the raven boy He had his hat off and somewhere around Tweek's house. "I don't see it." The taller laughed, since he could see it. The blonde huffed and pouted adorably. "Yeah well nyehhh," he stuck his tongue out at him before drinking more coffee.

There were many simple days like this. Both boys spending more and more time with each other.

"You know you're going to turn into coffee eventually." Craig joked and played with his hair. "I can see it now, every liquid in your body being some kind of coffee." He laughed. Tweek was seriously considering it. "You wanna play Coffee Prince again?" he offered.

"Only if you get to be a knight again. That was fun!"

"Maybe I'll be the big bad villain and steal you away into the tower all for myself." His monotone made the words hilarious to anyone who could be watching this. "As long as you don't hit me with a thermos again." He gave a mock glare; still smiling.

"Hey you can't blame me. I'm neurotic." The two laughed. Tweek grinned large, it had become an inside joke with them how crazy he is. Craig picked him up.

"At least you aren't dressed as a princes like Kenny is. You know, Tweekie that outfit looks great with your new piercings." The raven brought him upstairs.

"Oh shut it 'Feldspar.'" The blonde clung to him in case he would be dropped. "This outfit is freezing man! I wish I had more coffee."

"Tweek the last thing you need right now is more coffee."

"Oh I would beg to differ." The sly grin didn't really match his face as he brought out the gift from Princess Kenny. Craig's eyes widened and he raised an eyebrow.

"I see. Maybe we should have some coffee then." He matched the other's grin and ran upstairs.

They weren't heard from for the rest of that day. Not even when they were called upon by the wizard king.


End file.
